Of course, when Tiffany rocked the suburban shopping malls back in the day, she wasn’t talking about being alone.

I am.

Yeah, the boy-0 is thousands of miles above terra firma on route to a speaking gig. One of the ironies of our relationship back in Beantown was the number of folks who met him and thought he was all strong and silent-type-ish. The quiet men don’t typically whore themselves for the limelight.

But, yeah, stand-up comics whore themselves harder.

Tomorrow or Tuesday, there will be this where harmonic convergence moment when the boss lady and the man will both be way the fuck out of town at conferences, and I will not be asked any questions or help with nothing or nothing. Sweet.

Shortly thereafter, I will feel empty and not needed and will need to mark my flesh with small cuts in order to feel again. Or, I’ll have a nice cup of tea and relax.

Here are the news stories I unfortunately read over the last couple of days:

Snowjob the new press guy says Bush heard about Haditha through a Time reporter. OK, that’s kind of a crappy link, but I can’t find yesterday’s news story where I read that little gem.

And, Bush learns about 9/11 from a wicked cool new movie he had screened at the big house. (By the way to get that second link to the news story I read earlier, I searched on Bush, duh. I came across Blogs for Bush. I think I’m going to start cutting myself to blur the pain. On the bright side, apparently Jimmy Carter rolled with terrorists.)

My point is, fucking monkey boy president man know fucking fuck all about what the fuck is going on in the universe. He found out about the possible slaughter of civilians, including kids, by US Marines from a reporter months and months and months after the incident? Shouldn’t there be people who keep him up to date on this shit? Maybe a memo? Stop him in the hallway of the Whitehouse with a little, “Woah, dude, some bad mojo going down in Haditha, you should read the report?” Any-fucking-thing vaguely presidential?

Meanwhile, his press secretary is talking about how he always considered the poor folks who died on Flight 93, potentially fighting the terrorists back, as heros. Well fucking awesome, but, um, it’s a movie. I mean it’s cool and all that the director tried to be a good guy about the whole thing and get it right, but one of his last outings was Bourne Identity. Do you think GW gets it that conflating the real live hijacked and killed people with a movie version is kind of weird and not what you’d call presidential?

At lunch at work today, we got to talking about whether GWB will go down as winning the worst president in history crown. I think fuck yes, a thousand times yes.

One of your frontrunners is Warren G. Harding on worst president lists. Sure, the Teapot Dome thang blew. However, I’m thinking for corruption Abramoff is keeping it real in the shitty ways to manipulate power race. And, Bush is kicking it old school with his and Dick’s messing with oil fields and rights all over some of the same countryside where Harding’s friends hung.

Another suck-worthy president is Andrew Johnson for his role in helping muck up the Reconstruction South. Sure, not a great legacy and the first guy to succeed in getting impeached. But, he spent some of his time boozing it up, including possibly giving a speech when he became Lincoln’s vice president whilst intoxicated. How cool is drunk and hanging with Lincoln? Much more rock star than Bush’s alleged sobriety and hanghing with Jesus (who I’m guessing might may an exception on the “Jesus L

Yeah, Bush just might be the worst.