I suspect it’s kind of a chick thing, but I wish I could be more affirmative in my use of the word “no.”

There’s a guy who wants to buy an airbrush from me, which I advertised on Craig’s List. He really wanted to come over some time yesterday between 6 a.m. and 11 a.m.

Three times he’s asked me if I’m sure I can’t make those times. So I heard myself explaining that I have no shower and no job and even if I were to get up early I would be unclean and unreceptive to visiting strangers. He assured me he didn’t mind if I hadn’t taken a shower, he could come by first thing in the morning.

The thing is, I mind. I fucking mind A LOT. NO, dickhead, I’m not getting up at dawn so you can get a bargain.

After days of my insisting that late afternoon was much better for me, and offering explanations I am not actually required to give, he called just now.

Could I meet him in an hour? NO (but I could do 2:30 or so)
OH, OK how about 1:30? NO
You know, it’s much easier for him to get to Alewife, so couldn’t I meet him there? NO

In exasperation, I told him that I wasn’t desparate for the money and if it was too much of a hassle for me, I would find another way to get rid of it.

We settled on 2 p.m. at the Starbucks in Central, but it’s looking like I might be a tad late.

Another guy answered a Craig’s list ad by telling (not asking) me to call him, because he had questions. He went on to tell me that he’s busy and may be in and out at the number he gave, so I should keep trying at half hour intervals.

Um, why would I fucking want to do that over a couple of bucks? And, just for politeness’ sake, why don’t you end a couple of sentences with the asking question mark, OK, Sport?