Apart from tanning and seeing like every old friend I’ve ever had, I’ve been thinking about my next career.

I figure administration is right the fuck out, since, well, it has kind of a, how would you describe it? Oh yeah, a rather bitter taste.

M., the newly minted American entrepreneur, has a few great leads on some technological kind of jobs, which, who knows, when I’m done tanning I might network and BS my way into. And, there’s all the shit I think I could freelance.

However, above all things, I have a brand new role model and calling in life. I now worship at the career doorstep of Dog, the Bounty Hunter.

Looks like all you need to be a bounty hunter are cell phones, ’80s pro-wrestling, camo fatigue, cut-off fashion style, some paperwork, questionable hair-dye and hair-growth useage and some badass attitude. I got the attitude, baby, I am tough as nails and intimidating as all hell. I mean, if it weren’t for my fearsomeness I’d be employed right now, right?

So, I am so there. Yeah, scumbags of the world watchout, I’m collecting on your bail bond and getting you thrown in the hoosgow, or however it fucking works. I’ll have to do a little reading.

I’m off to a strong start acing this quiz as a “Top Dog.” Rock on, I’m Dog’s newest disciple. Woof.