I totally get that people have completely different skill sets, and computers ain’t the be all and all of ease and sense for a lot of folks. But, still and all, I get emails that just make me want to thunk myself hard on a desk-type surface or the palm of my hand and groan a “D’Oh.”

So, being as I took a class or two at the community college (as in it gots it’s own zip code community), I’ve been added to their email list serve. They send out something like this today:

With just five days left to register, Winter Courses are filling up quickly. But there is still time to sign up for one of the 100+ courses and events offered this quarter.

Here are just a few courses that may interest you (click on the links below to search for even more open classes):

Liberal Arts and Science
– Artsy Fartsy and Smarty Pants class listing

The Writer’s Studio
– Ideas for that desperate cry for help and stuff

Professional and Personal Development
– Money, who doesn’t love to get it, here’s how.

Public Programs and Special Events
– Public stuff and free, good times. In addition, mark your calendars for the following special events: Bach Birthday Bash, and Rumi: An 800th Birthday Celebration with Robert Bly.

To register for a course or an event, or to see a complete listing, visit our website…

It ended like this:

To unsubscribe: You are receiving this newsletter because you indicated during registration that you would like to receive periodic information about Continuing Studies. If you wish to be removed from our mailing list, please send your name and email address to: continuingstudies@communityville.edu and type “Unsubscribe” in the subject line. We will remove you from our email distribution list.

OK, so here’s some basic shit we learned. There are over a 100 classes, woohoo, and that’s so many they ain’t listing them all, but hey it’s 2007 so there’s like a website thingie. Something called “clicking” will show you more, and you could sign up with the clicking. And, apparently there’s some kind of email magical robot power where you can “unsubscribe.”

So, imagine my surprise when I (and countless others) minutes later get this email:

I haven’t had calculus,but I am interested in the course relating to
the TV series Numb3rs, is it sitll available, and if so would you ask
the teacher if i could take the class; the highest math i had (30
years ago) was trigonometry and matrix algebra. Thanks, Marcia

Marcia missed a few clues, and clearly doesn’t understand how listserves work. That’s cool, I understand, I empathize, but, um, maybe she could have tried clicking instead of replying.

(Parenthetically, the course description apres said click says:

This is not a course for those who want to improve their math skills. Instead, it is designed to look at a new and expanding application of mathematics in society.

Prerequisite: A mathematics education up through calculus will be required in order to fully appreciate the course material.

Leading me to believe that it’s up to the taker if they get to “fully appreciate the course,” but there won’t be any pop quizzes. And, the course is still open. Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.)

I’m probably not total dick enough to make fun of Marcia alone. I do dig her computer skills may not be fab, and with algebra 30 years in the past, she’s likely a bit further past prime than I am. And, I feels for us old ladies and aging math ability.

Nope, what gots my goat was the follow-up emails. Can it, people. Seriously, you get a stupid email don’t reply. If you get a reply to a stupid email, don’t reply. If you see someone else replying to a stupid email and a reply, don’t reply. And so on.

Is this train of emails necessary?

Please remove those of us who rec. the “reply all” answers…
Please! TMcE

Hi
Somehow this appeared on my e-mail.
Dr. Howard

Sorry I don’t know how this message got to me but it shouldn’t.
I’m a student and there is something wrong here!

Please check who this person is and why she got my email and please let me
know…

Thanks.

Elena

Please remove me too. I don’t even live in your state!

I’ll second that.

-Surnish

Chuckleheads.

Oh so liong ago, about a year and half or so, I posted pure unadulterated bullshit (as opposed to my usual adulterated (and abridged) bullshit) on or about April 1. It had to do with M.’s and my splitting and was part of an elaborate multiple weblog, bulletin board, in person and by email community practical joke.

The link is here.

It’s the highest form of computerized WWW retardation.

So today some clown out there in th fake space of wires and satellites and communication is gloating on it. Commenting:

TOO BAD YOU POOR BITCH I HOPE YOU SUFFER FOREVER!!

And I thought this weblog was the biggest pile of steaming wasted bandwidth. I’m not even possibly eligible for that pro-am tourney of suck.

Here are some random things that may be good for a chuckle:

Nice use of Google. A gal just can’t be too careful. (This article was sent to me by a certain M., who I may have mentioned. So far, no FBI listing shows up in Google for him.)

I got the following mail from MRS ALIFAT SALIYU:

St’ Mary’s Catholic Church,
Amadu Bello way,
Kaduna.
Beloved In Christ,
Calvary greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I am Mrs Afsat Salisu, a widow to Late Musiliu Salisu, I am 65years old, I am now a new Christian convert, suffering from long time cancer of the breast. From all indications, my condition is seriou
s and according to my doctor it is quite obvious that I may not survive the sickness, although as a Christian, I believe God and I know that I will not die, I will leave to declare the glory of God. My late husband and my only son were killed during the
Kaduna Crisis some years back and I am presently Leaving alone. Our Lord Jesus Christ is my comforter.
I have the sum of $15,000,000.00(Fifteen million US Dollars) The fund is in cash, packaged in Consignments deposited with a Security Company for safety and security reasons Presently all the documents concerning the consignments are with my Lawyer. Now t
hat my sickness has gone to this stage, I am scared I might die any time therefore wish that the fund be used to the glory of God. This money is the proceeds from the sale of properties and shares and physical cash I inherited from my late husband.I have
prayed and I told God to direct me to a honest Christian who will receive this fund and utilize it for things that will glorify the name of God.
After my prayers, I searched the Christian sites in the internet, I found your email address and I decided to contact you. Please if you are honest and faithful enough to use this fund strictly for the work of God, please send to me your full names and a
ddress of your ministry to enable me give it to my lawyer for immediate arrangement with the security company on how the consignments that contained the fund will be delivered to you.
Thanks and God bless you while waiting to hear from you.
Mrs Afsat Salisu.

However did she come to realize that my site is, of course, a Christian one. Unless you interpret “Christian” as having something to do with believing in Jesus as the Son of God and the trilogy and one holy and apostolic church and that kind of thing. In which case, Mrs. Salisu seems to have made a mistake.

And, here’s a weird reality check kind of thing — Twice now, someone has given me an object with an image that consists of a huge cluster of identical or similar lady bugs, and one walking away that’s a different color. Apparently, people perceive me as a non-conformist. What the fuck is up with that? I swear I’m the same.

Interestingly, in a synchronicity kind of way, lady bugs are named after “Our Lady” aka Jesus’ mom. So yeah, I’m all about Christianity.