I’m not so much a glass half full optimist or a half empty pessimist as I am a middle of the road non-committal equivicator. I overthink the glass.

I was thinking about this today, since I have no definite plans for New Year’s and was feeling slightly lonely and sorry for myself. But, on the other hand, I realized that I had about 10 overdue email replies, which I had neglected over the holidays, etc. So, I vowed to make today my catch up on email day and sent out quite a few. The question might be: Do I have no friends, as the lonely pouting about the holidays would suggest, or am I just too fucktarded to get back to people and maintain the friendships I have? So, here’s a life lesson from recess, be a friend, make a friend. DUH. I’m an idiot.

In the same vein, it’s such a brave new world for me to have a boyfriend who is thoughtful and caring, that I am completely unschooled in appropriate actions. The thought that someone might think of me isn’t something I’m pessimistic about and cynical (no really, I’m not, I swear). It’s just not entirely comprehensible to my overthinking.

Here’s some advice to the ladies out there, if your man moves far away, you probably don’t want to dive into Jacqueline Susann’s Valley of the Dolls and cable on demand repeats of “Sex in the City.” The unfortunate pattern of those two oeuvres is not exactly male positive. All my life, my male friends have always outnumbered my female friends, and they have been good friends. Yet, I still get amazed that I’m date worthy. I wonder what repressed memory fucked my self esteem.