The heading of this entry is a quote from GWB in regard to the capture of Saddam Hussein. Strange word choice for warfare–“enchanting”?

So, I woke up to gray skies of an impending storm, possibly the last time M. walks in with a tray of muffins and coffee for my breakfast in bed, and the news of Saddam’s capture. Since it is very likely that the insurgent suicide bombers are working on their own, I don’t think Saddam’s capture will directly effect the Iraqis immediately. For us, here in the U.S. of A. I fear the worst; this capture will ratchet up GW’s popularity, and we’re subjected to four more years of this tomfoolery.

Here are some of the reactions of our fine politicians. What the hell is up with Leiberman invoking God? It’s as though there’s a competition between GW’s fundamentalism and Leiberman’s orthodoxy. Like “Hey, the Jews can ‘Praise the Lord’ too, you know. Get me an Old Testament, and I can thump it with the best of the Bible Belt.” Glad to see God still hates foreign regimes whether you are Christian or Jewish.

In the realm of trivial, especially compared to the world stage, this weekend is also the Boston auditions for Montreal’s Just for Laughs comedy festival. While I know everyone who is auditioning, and I know that much of my writing/performance is on par or better than several of the people slated, I, alas, was on no one’s list. Logically, especially in such a subjective realm, it’s just not my time, yet. Also, logically, I know that very possibly nothing will come of it for the people who are auditioning (the belief in the undercurrent of comments is that they generally focus on performers with management, who already have some foothold in the industry). Still in all, logic aside, there is a slight twinge from not being invited to the prom.

One of the central conundrums of trying to do stand-up comedy is true I think of any “artistic” endeavor. On the one hand, you strive to be original and genuine, and the newness that originality implies almost by definition that you won’t necessarily fit in. Meanwhile, you crave validation by the mainstream without sacrifice or question, which is a naive dream at best. Few of my comedy heroes (or music or art for that matter) actually succeeded through the least resistant path of early notice and acceptance by “industry.” Actually, very few people period succeed that way, my heroes or not. That, I guess, is the bitch of it all.

To know all of the above is not to actually avoid any hurt. Although, it does bring me to understand more fully that ego bruises are just bruises not broken, crippling blows.

While I enjoy the comedy of some and count a couple of people auditioning tonight at the Studio as friends, I can’t bring myself to go to tonight’s audition show. Last night’s outing to the auditions at The Emerald Isle in Dorchester was enough. (By the way, with a couple of exceptions on both sides, I was amazed at the list of people who were at the Studio v. The Isle. Realizing that there is not enough room to book everyone in one show, there were some folks who I would have thought Rick at the Studio would have wanted on his roster. Of course, it was also curious to me that The Isle was a site at all. So many mysteries I will never understand). More importantly for not checking out more comedy tonight is my desire to not torment M. any more with my comedy ego, in these his waning Cambridge days.

One last note on comedy, and then I will focus on more weighty matters, like taking a shower. I think one of the things that is quite potentially my strength is also my undoing in some ways. The facts are that I have a “career” job, have owned my own home for almost a decade, am living a fairly stable existence, have a print journalism degree with possibly a talent for writing and am older than most of the people at my stage of comedy development. I am generally quite happy that I am pursuing a dream, as it were, from an established, comfortable place relatively unfettered by hassles over money, rent, day jobs and the like. M. may be right that these facts are a testament to my having some shit together that others don’t or won’t.

Unfortunately, to some these things that I think (and M. tries to underscore often) are strengths are often misunderstood in the comedy community. It feels to me like I’m treated sometimes as a dilletante not a serious player. For the people who have only ever succeeded (or received recognition) even modestly in the world of comedy, it would be difficult to see how someone might live in several spheres. I have more resources to pick what would benefit me, and I have more risks if I choose unwisely. To someone who is my age with a narrow margin and fewer options, I may appear uncommitted and unwilling to sacrifice. One example of this issue is that occassionally I will watch “the door” at a club so someone can go the bathroom, etc., but I won’t ever volunteer to take on working the door. Why? Because, my days of minimum-wage toil are far, fucking behind me, and my street value is much more than the $10-20 people get for the night’s work. I am more than willing to perform for a tiny level of pay or no pay, since the benefits to me are far greater than the monetary gain, so I win. Selling myself low for a shitty job at shitty pay, such as working the door cash register, only cheapens me, and the goodwill it would engender is not good enough.

So, I get points for perspective and maturity and something to talk about, but I lose for not being a “starving artist,” which in truth is a pretty sucky way to live, but a fucking great rationalization for a lifestyle.

Ahhh, I can’t believe this is my last weekend with M.! I wonder what it will be like and feel like and all when he is safely on the West Coast.

(By the way, I think a few people also see my dating a normal person as a lack of commitment to comedy. In short, people suck.)