Apart from your average existential crisis (and a dull one at that), I guess life isn’t all that bad.

For example, instead of looking at a multi-million dollar grant, which I have had trouble focusing on at work and brought home, I read about a call girl’s personal adventures in fisting.

IHOP is advertising “Never Ending Pancakes.” Never ending, can you grok that? Never fucking ending. Endless. Eternal. Pancakes. Nirvana, that’s what that is, fucking nirvana.

M. listens to me. Whilst feeling anxious and depressed, in a perverse and peevish wound-licking mood complete with sniffles and cramps, he hears me out and says supportive things. What a marvelous invention this “boyfriend” concept, where someone provides you some bolstering.

I only ever worked for McDonald’s for three days, unlike
some people. Incidentally, work was fun today in one aspect. A woman who has been temping in our office and is very good is mulling over our job offer. Unfortunately, she has another offer on the table from private industry, so all we have in the not-for-profit world is so-called quality of life. In discussing work choices, the boss prompted me to tell the “I worked at Mickey D’s for 3 days, after graduating college, saw my AP math teacher and left over the proper use of the word ‘fuck’ disagreement with the manager” story. Sometimes at work I fucking crush. And, if it’s the boss lobbing the softball your way, she really can’t bitch about the frivolity.

Incidentally, while I am trying to create an upbeat mood, I have to mention the following. The boss has been on a search for the supreme memory key (she won’t let me get the secret agent watch). She wants form and function. The other day she said “OK, forget about size, I’m just looking for something that fits the hole.” I didn’t say anything, while a reel of witty double entendres played in my head. After a baited beat or two, she said, “Come on, I can’t just keep pitching them slow and easy like that and not have you jump in.” When it’s time to go, it will be hard to leave a job where the person in charge goes to some lengths to be a good straight man.