I know it ain’t Christmas.

And, I know that there might be wonderful people and things in my life for whom I should give thanks. You know, great friends, a rocking, swell guy, a supportive (mostly) family, food, clothing and a full belly.

BUT, NOTHING, NOT ONE FUCKING THING, compares to the joy I am about to experience. Not even orgasm combined with Coffee Heath Bar Ben & Jerry’s.

I AM ABOUT TO TAKE A SHOWER! WOO HOO! In my own goddamn freshly tiled tub.