I hate people. OK, mostly I just hate people who post here. Which is why I wish people would post here instead. On this alternative, non-commercial site, one could tell idiots they are idiots without fear of a nicey nice reprisal.

It makes no sense that I get aggravated, since it truly is a waste of my energy, but where there was once a vital community there is now vapidity. For example, if you are new to stand-up comedy performance, NO, it is not best to learn it through observation or discussion. Writers write, performers perform, loggers log, fishermen fish, preachers preach. They do not log into a website to suppose on these things. If you want to masturbate, go to your room, dim the lights and for fuck’s sake turn up the stereo so we don’t have to hear your feeble moans and groans.

In the same vein, when posting to a community website for “comedy” and you suck on stage as a comic, you probably suck in this forum as well. You know how the audience doesn’t universally laugh at your bon mots? It’s because they are not funny, either because your work is obvious and trite or you have not as yet honed your craft to elicit the giggle you seek. In short, save your snappy, yet lame, rejoinder unless it is helpful to your fellow readers or you are supremely certain without one pale shadowed sliver of doubt it’s funny.

Finally, you are not all intellectuals. Arguably, many of you are feeble-minded, perhaps educable at best. I am sure that your mommies and daddies have told you wonderful things about your abilities. They lied. There is no Santa Claus either.

Your leaps into didacticism are precocious. The preciousness of your youthful endeavors are matched only by the naivete of your world view. One of the strange little quirks of life is that in youth you burn with a fever to parse and opine and thrust your treatise upon the world, despite it’s very core being unformed and underdeveloped, because your world view is far more myopic than you can know. As you age, your treatise will gain flesh, blood and depth, but, alas, by then the fever will have subsided and your desire to scream your opinions from the mountaintop will be tempered by your desire to hear other opinions and to silently think.

Someday soon, I think I should compile and enemies list here, just for kicks. It would be much more civilized than heads on pikes arranged around my yard.

Maybe I shouldn’t spend all weekend alone. Misanthropy is fun and all, but do I want to make it a lifestyle?