Generally, I love the impulse buy. Any new junk food or interestingly packaged tasty treat, and I’m on it.
I veritably whined for a day when M. stopped me from buying a package of ice cream novelty treats at Costco. I wanted it, because it contained 48 separate treats of four different varieties. M. didn’t want it, because it contained 48 separate treats of four different varieties. Sometimes he’s frustratingly reasonable.
So, anyway, today I was all by myself at Safeway, with my own money, my own debit card, my own membership in the “Safeway Club” o’ savings. Nothing and no one could have stopped me from buying whatever grocery my heart fancied. (Well, the weight or size could have stopped me given I was on my spiffy, cool new bike.)
However, I did not buy the Grapple. I wanted to, out of curiousity. But, I wasn’t four bucks worth of curious.
Seriously, though, what the fuck are the people at Get Fit Foods thinking?
There PR bullshit actually says:
“With childhood obesity increasing at alarming rates, GrÄppleâ„¢ brand apples could go a long way to improving the eating habits of children and introducing them to more produce.”
Because, yeah, most leading nutritionists would say, the best fucking way to fight poor diet and eating habits is to increase the chemical additives in normally tasty food and make it seem more like candy.
It kind of reminds me of when I was a kid and there was something called “I hate peas” on the market. Or some name like that. Basically, it was a frozen french fry with pea puree blended in there that you baked in your oven. The theory being kids would get MORE nutrition and variety than if they just ate regular fries.
I comprehend that logic. Disguise some kind of good food with a slightly not good food.
If you have a fat kid, though, “bathing” an apple in a chemical solution of “grape flavor” is a great lesson in balance. (Of course, the website doesn’t actually mention “chemicals,” but food design ain’t farming.)
Here’s a quick idea, I’m just blue-skying off the top of my head here, so it may seem fucking nuts, but, you know, bear with me, here’s my idea. Say your kid, whose weight is up there (and you, the no doubt slim, health-conscious adult in the kid’s life, can’t figure out why), say that kid enjoys the crunchy, juicy texture of apples but hankers for the sweet sugar of a tasty grape. Why don’t you make a fucking fruit salad?
Cheaper than the 4 Grapples for >$4 and less shitty all around.