No apologies to that misogynist and plausibly syphilitic but gout-ridden philanderer, Ben Franklin, for this post’s title. I figure it’ll class him up a bit.
Just wanted to give a shout out to Olympic medal winners and grotesque elders Oksana Chusovitina, now of Germany, Constantina Tomescum, Romania, and Darra Torres of the U.S. of A. The sports/spectacle Olympic TV announcers have been falling all over their fucking selves to talk about their ages.
Oksana especially it seems with her advanced and decrepit age of 33 is unworldly and unseemly in her aging. And, she’s apparently given birth to a live human child. How could such a thing happen and yet a woman could still run, jump and play in the gymnasium just as well as a wee, bitty, I swear I’m 16, here’s my passport, delayed-pubescent girl?
Aren’t most Olympians dead by 30 or something?
The story of her son’s leukemia and the Germans helping them out is great and compelling and dramatic and just the kind of hook the color commentators seem to suck up and run with for hours on end. But, drop it on her age, for fuck’s sake. 30 isn’t the new 70.
I think Constantina gets a bit more of a pass on the marathon gold, because marathoners generally seem to be grown ups. And, apparently it’s not as shocking to think a mother could endure 26.2 miles of anything.
Maybe it’s the shelf of medals Darra already has or the shadow of her potentially terminally ill coach, but the enthusiastic exclamations of her past-40 (and still alive of all things) by the announcers seems a bit lower key. Or maybe it’s because she wears a tight, space age swimsuit well?
Anyone, note to the universe, now that we’s women got the vote and rights and all, it ain’t over.
(Of course, the absurdity of my writing this little rant is I can barely walk let alone be called athletic at this or any other fucking age in my life. But, damn it, the women above aren’t washed up old ladies.)