It’s fucking 10:59 p.m. and I am sitting in a research department at a NEVER GOING TO HAVE A NAME major, federally funded research laboratory kind of anonymous place. That is the scientific part. The hypothesis that is irrefuteable and incontrovertible:

I AM A LOSA!!!!! (As they say in my native tongue. Others may say “loser.”)

The evidence to support this claim — Did I mention it’s 10:59 p.m.? Oh wait, make that after 11 p.m., and I am in my FUCKING OFFICE!

Now, if I’m lucky I’ll be home before Letterman (you know, late night, fucking television) comes on.

Either I so totally suck at my job, or I’m a goddamned saint. I honestly don’t know any more.