Stupid bitch or cautionary tale?
I have tread this line myself (and in fact this sentence has a word that could be misinterpreted). Sometimes I worry when more than the couple (literally) work friends I have told about this site appear to have found me. Sometimes, I think “wow, that would be a cool story.” Overall, my fairly professional credibility, I think, would instead make a couple of people have earnest heart to heart talks with me. I would hate that more than the ass-canning I think.
Wanting to perform and write publicly is probably more important to me than my daily grind. However, I wouldn’t really want to test that theory.
Thinks I have seen at work, which I would consider questioning, or have:
The chick with the inspirational Jesus affirmation as her email sig. (Yeah, OK, you’re a Christian, but what I really need to know is your boss availble for the meeting.)
The guy with the work email in his dating ad on a pretty explicit gay site (Have you heard of Hotmail? I think that’s why it was invented.)
The lame chick who sent every single fucking lameass Internet joke to a massive email llist that included all levels of people at work plus outside insitutes and federal agencies. (Hint: get a life. Not surprisingly, she’s the same chick who would make vibrator jokes in front of her Pentacostal officemate.)
The Pentacostal officemate who tells me often that she’s praying for me, mostly because I do stand-up comedy and her daughter has told her about the language. (I don’t have the heart to tell her (a) I don’t believe and (b) I usually close with a long allusion to my vagina.)
The freak who has some kind of stationery background and animated sig in every email that takes about a month to load and includes an advertisement for spyware (Did you get the memo (literally) from IS on why that’s a bad idea?)
The incredibly well-educated woman who told me she couldn’t possibly have gotten a virus (delivered through email on a fake picture file), because she has never, ever opened any files with questionable endings, like exe, gif, jpg, especially in any email, and who also claimed she only had data stored on the network space, which is entirely stretched to capacity. Together we went through the entire file of baby pictures she had been saving on the network and had received via email. (Was it stretching the obvious metaphor to far when I explained to her, a physician, that her saying that she was practicing safe computing, was like a patient presenting to her with symptoms of gonhorrea insisting he had no sexual contact?)
The incredibly mousey, easily flustered woman who transferred to another department, leaving her browser’s cache filled with a few references to mostly blowjob intense visuals and the infamous whitehouse.com. (I still laugh when I see her in the halls. Didn’t see that one coming.)
I guess if you stick around long enough you get to weigh your skeletons against others’.
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I think this is funny. All these characters can be in a novel. A novel taken place in a research center in Boston/Cambridge. Perhaps you could be the next Jonathan Franzen. 🙂