Here’s what I won’t miss, won’t miss one bit:

Nick

Electricity going out, a lot

Commuting

Teenagers in the carport when I get home

Illegally parked cars in the carport when I get home

Heating that makes too much noise and feels like a car heater in an old beater — Two speeds, sweltering or off

Waiting 10 minutes for the hot water to be hot

Cold showers when I can’t wait 10 minutes first

Scalding from when the hot water kicks in, hard and hot, but not in a good way

Layers of mildew from almost no ventilation in either bathroom, even with a window

Being told by Nick I have to keep the window all the way open in the shower, regardless of the outdoor temperature

Two burners on the stove you have to jiggle and push before they fire up

Cold spots on the stove

Setting the smoke alarm off while taking a shower

Setting the fire alarm off while cooking anything in the oven

Setting the fire alarm off while making toast

Random alarm noises

Duct tape holding up a shelf in the refrigerator

Having no little welcoming light in the refrigerator

Fucking sink strainers — Nick loves these
He threw away the normal one

Cheap hair trap annoying plastic things for the shower (also another of Nick’s loves)

No dishwasher (just a plywood repair in the cabinet, like a ghost of the washer that once was)

A working garbage disposal we’ve been warned not to use for various forms of, um, garbage

Neighbors yelling at each other

The crazy old lady across the street who freaked and claimed I hit her car while un-parallel parking

Only one official parking space (in the new place we get a two-car private carport, woohoo)

Strip malls, lots and lots of strip malls

The weird sobbing child I can hear from one of the other apartments and that goes on and on.

I’ll miss the heat in summer. M. won’t. At all.

I’ll miss thinking of Dionne Warwick every time I tell someone where I live.

I’ll miss hating on Nick, because I’m an asshole.

I’ll miss some of the diversity.

I’ll miss the huge amount of space we currently waste.

I’ll miss that it was M.’s and my first place together in California. An experiment that has seemed to work.