I had been thinking what the other perq was about which I meant to write.

If all worked (and I’m still not planning to actually access this web
page, so I won’t know), below there is a low quality photo of what is
in my lower desk drawer. I got here and thought maybe I was sitting
at a special fire marshal/safety girl desk.

It’s an emergency preparedness kit and flashlight.

I realized that there is an emergency kit and flashlight in EVERY desk
drawer. What makes this job different from all previous desks or
benches I have parked my ass behind? The earth might start shaking.

I did figure out why California has earthquakes (other than plate
tectonics). It’s because they are huge pussies about weather. The
other day the local news forecast had a teaser and then went on to
report how bad the weekend would be all over the Bay Area. The
crisis? Temperatures would only be in the 70s, and there might be fog
over the ocean.

Pussies.