They say that the French say, and for all I know the “they” are French, the more shit changes the more it stays the same. I think it means that shit never really changes. But, how the fuck do I know, I speak American.
Point is, I left my old job, moved a coast over, started a new life and, you know, got all rehabbed. Like, I haven’t even read a Stephen King novel or any other kind of shit about the evil people do. Nope. Living one day at a time, clean and not writing in the old horrorshow violence way, my little droogs.
Lately, though, I’ve been scratching my itchy literary trigger finger. I’ve been thinking of my old prose on shivs, my drama. The stress of the workaday world is re-piling up. The desire to write about useless meetings, politics, cube farms, paperwork, the whole swirling Scott Adams, Dilbert-esque, sucky swirl of toiling every single fucking day.
But, I’m reformed. No more blades. Now, my fantasy is a TASER. How fucking awesome would that be?
Isn’t it cute? All happy fun toy looking. Someone gives you the old guff, I hates guff, afterall, in the office setting or just wastes your time about a minute too log? Whammo, and buzz, buzz, buzz, problem solved. You got clear space to walk away.
Better yet, TASER makes swell attachments, like the TASER cam. No shit. I’m not poitively, absolutely sure, but I think you get to TASER some kind of malingerer in TASERing range and simultaneously videotape the shenanigans. Awesome YouTube potential right there.
I think I could use a day off, though.
Technorati Tags: California, Landlord, pranks, TASER, stress, work, fun
plus ca change or plus c’est la meme chose
realy means the more fucked up it gets the more it remaind the same
tazers girl you are flirting with the dark side
whats up with good old good old 9mm glocks (point at target squeeze trigger a good groin shot is instant pain for the recipient and with modern surgery they would be walking again in a few months
or has the good old usa gorn soft on gun laws
as for cars try a Chimera from TVR 290 brake horse 170 + mph and soooo cool over here they are £10,000 or $20 k for a good low miles one and its as reliable as hell range rover engine good for 200k miles if you use it regular and soooooo smooth
the austin healys are over priced and over rated and frankly are shit you will spend more on keeping it running than on gas
nice to see you firmly back in the bousom of your loved ones after your trip to see us older cousins
och eye the noo n all thayt bollocks
as for us we are both moving and changing jobs
c’est la vie
meilleurs voeux et joyeux noel
vead n Nat ( notice the use of capitals as she is important
XXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxftwb
It’s peace-loving, granola California. I think a TASER is sufficient force.
Good luck on the move and the job change. Will you be staying in old Blighty, or whatever the fuck toothless old men call it?
You probably can’t do electricity anywhere but there, since you know how to do those giant plugs no one else has.
Hope it all works out well.
Oh, and look at you whipping out the French.
Mon dieu or merde or something.
oh and i loved the reference to the droogs
i was a clocky boy in my youth
all dressed in white with big horror show boots and a head full of ultra violence
bring it back that red red kroovy on tap in all the familiar places whoooo hooooo to be 16 again oh please (insert diety of choice ) let me be 16 again please please please
moi
im an aging hippy now all love n peace n shit mostly
evda
We’ll get a glass of moloko together then, my droog.