I couldn’t work at work, so I brought stuff home. Now, I’m home and I’m not working here either.

Here’s the best thing about this website so far, for a second month someone has searched “female belly punch” and found me. What the fuck? That’s not just a search but a repeated one? There was also the less specific “belly punch.” Clearly, there’s a mandate for more punch on this site.

Here’s another good search school yearbook questions to ask sundance and teachers polls. I feel bad that whoever got me. I am of no help whatsoever, unless the question they want to ask is “What the fuck?”

I never want to meet the searcher who was looking for: “old lady fuck a boy.”

A propos nothing, I’m slightly encouraged and worried that my life is syncing up with Sex and the City. Encouraged, I think, because like me the television show has come to a point where accepting bullshit is not an option. In real life, as a friend and I were discussing on the phone, it’s much better to hang out with people (subtextually read “men”) who are not assholes. In fact, I hope never to date another asshole in my life. I think there’s a quota in your life, and I’ve surpassed mine.

Of course, I’m worried, because, um right, it’s a fucking TV show. It’s not real.

OK, now I’m centered in reality. It was touch and go, but I’ll put down the cosmopolitan now and try to get on with my life.

Back into reality but TV based, if I could have an acting job on TV, I would want the job Susie Essman has on Curb Your Enthusiasm.