Here’s the thing, to the guy on the corner of Columbia and Broadway, Ted Bundy ruined it for you.

As is quite usual, I was running late for work, and I’m stopped at a red light. A guy is pointing to what I think is the red light and smiling and gesticulating. This behavior continues, and I feel that he is trying to communicate with me. He’s a regular looking, Cambridge guy–button down shirt maybe, glasses, beard and mustache with some salt and pepper. Basically, he looks like a math teacher who may be the one to volunteer for afterschool clubs that need chaperones and whatnot, not hip but not an asshole who the kids really like but think is a bit nerdy. My curiousity peaked, and I rolled down the window.

“Mass Ave and the BU Bridge?” he asks. (They don’t actually intersect.)

“Huh?” I thoughtfully reply.

“Are you going to Mass Ave and the BU bridge.”

“I’m late for work,” is my non-sequitur.

“Great, yeah, if you’re going to Mass Ave, that’s where I’m going,” he’s smiling and cheerful. He continues, “I’m hitching a ride, and you’re going that way.”

I’m thinking, “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I’m a little slow, you’re hitching a ride,” I say, “Yeah, sorry, I’m late for work,” and take off through the now green light.

Here’s my question: Is there really anyone in the world in 2004 who thinks a woman driving alone in the city should be picking up strangers? Not to be a total dick, dude, since I’m sure you really thought you needed the ride, but, ummm, Ted Bundy was supposed to be most charming, until he raped and strangled you. Would you want your partner, sister, mom, whoever to be that trusting, or are you willing to cop to the fact that we don’t live in that happy, hippie villa where all is peace and love and no one will harm you?

Sorry, dude, but I’m living in the real world where the streets can get mean. So, all you did was make me feel guilty and then angry at you for even asking.

It isn’t really that far a walk from where you were (I’ve done it many, many, many times), so, um, hitchhiking middleclass Cambridge guy, next time leave the house a little earlier.