Sometimes I have in my life joined chat groups. Tonight, I did so while on the phone with my boy-o (must have been the wine, which I continued to drink because I never got the call where he was going to tell me not to (keep drinking)).

Anyway, here’s a chat transcript.

I guess it’s pretty fucking redundant to anyone who has read anything here, I’m not good with fucking idiots. Meanwhile, fucking idiots seem to be cool to me.

By the way, it is entirely possible this transcript highlights exactly what kind of an asshole I am.

N(03:05:50) peaceseeker1383: horribly fine
(03:05:58) dee_dash_rob: ? meaning?
(03:06:39) peaceseeker1383: i am honky dory
(03:06:59) dee_dash_rob: OK. But why horribly hunky dory?
(03:07:33) peaceseeker1383: caz i like being so
(03:08:08) dee_dash_rob: Are you pissed off about anything? Sounds like there’s an edge…
(03:08:33) peaceseeker1383: i get cheesed off once in a blue moon
(03:08:37) dee_dash_rob: Or you have some inscrutable Ford Prefect thing going on.
(03:09:23) peaceseeker1383: i like the day i live
(03:09:52) dee_dash_rob: You sound kind of full of shit. Like you are trying to trick me with “clever” words.
(03:10:07) peaceseeker1383: no need to do so
(03:10:17) dee_dash_rob: What?
(03:10:28) dee_dash_rob: Are you a bot?
(03:10:32) peaceseeker1383: i just want to chat with u
(03:10:35) peaceseeker1383: thats all
(03:10:56) dee_dash_rob: But you sound like you are trying to be clever rather than chat
(03:10:56) peaceseeker1383: besides im trying to find a way to have a good time
(03:11:07) peaceseeker1383: as u please
(03:11:09) dee_dash_rob: Like what kind of good time?
(03:11:24) dee_dash_rob: because “horribly fine” sounds like the opposite
(03:11:46) peaceseeker1383: no
(03:11:51) peaceseeker1383: not at all
(03:12:07) dee_dash_rob: Please explain why not
(03:12:08) peaceseeker1383: when imvery fime i say that
(03:12:34) dee_dash_rob: right, but a total stranger asks you how you are…
(03:12:41) dee_dash_rob: you say “horribly fine”
(03:12:47) peaceseeker1383: yes
(03:13:08) peaceseeker1383: that creats a kind of curiosity in him or her
(03:13:10) dee_dash_rob: she asks what that means and you get completely false sophisticated sounding
(03:13:19) dee_dash_rob: like yoda without the depth
(03:13:29) peaceseeker1383: maybe
(03:13:32) peaceseeker1383: but
(03:13:36) dee_dash_rob: it’s curiousity, but when I asked it was met with defensive
(03:13:49) dee_dash_rob: but?
(03:13:56) peaceseeker1383: nobody can say how he or she feels exactly
(03:14:06) dee_dash_rob: Oh, please.
(03:14:14) peaceseeker1383: they r just words
(03:14:25) dee_dash_rob: Right.
(03:14:33) peaceseeker1383: and sometimes with exaggeration
(03:14:40) dee_dash_rob: So, by that token no one should be moved by shakespeare
(03:14:52) dee_dash_rob: You know what?
(03:15:35) peaceseeker1383: u say “should”
(03:15:44) dee_dash_rob: ?
(03:15:55) peaceseeker1383: so there must be something in ur mind for it
(03:16:11) peaceseeker1383: u could have told must
(03:16:37) dee_dash_rob: Seriously, dude, or dudette, I can bullshit intellectually with the best of them.
(03:16:42) dee_dash_rob: Sadly, you cannot
(03:17:00) peaceseeker1383: oh ome on
(03:17:06) dee_dash_rob: What?
(03:17:17) peaceseeker1383: lets forget it
(03:17:28) dee_dash_rob: I say bullshit onto you and your Yoda speak
(03:17:37) dee_dash_rob: Does this work for you, usually?
(03:18:08) peaceseeker1383: well actually most of the time
(03:18:17) dee_dash_rob: Really?
(03:18:23) peaceseeker1383: sure
(03:18:27) dee_dash_rob: How is that?
(03:19:15) peaceseeker1383: it is also a way to get to know people
(03:20:13) peaceseeker1383: for example u

(03:20:28) dee_dash_rob: What have you gotten to know about me?
(03:20:45) peaceseeker1383: well
(03:20:52) peaceseeker1383: u
(03:20:57) peaceseeker1383: i guess
(03:22:12) dee_dash_rob: ?
(03:22:40) peaceseeker1383: r kind of calm
(03:23:05) dee_dash_rob: As opposed to what?
(03:23:14) peaceseeker1383: studying books
(03:23:22) dee_dash_rob: Nope
(03:23:44) peaceseeker1383: having friends handpicked
(03:24:00) dee_dash_rob: As opposed to what?
(03:24:14) dee_dash_rob: Friends thrust upon you?
(03:25:09) peaceseeker1383: there r people who get friends with everybody
(03:25:17) peaceseeker1383: and there people who get friends with some particular ones
(03:25:53) dee_dash_rob: My handpicking is not to be friends with dicks. Other than that, I’m pretty open.
(03:26:24) peaceseeker1383: those who r dick to u
(03:26:33) peaceseeker1383: may be brain to others
(03:27:16) dee_dash_rob: I’m thinking you’re more dick than brain.
(03:27:20) peaceseeker1383: #:-S
(03:27:35) peaceseeker1383: =))
(03:27:43) dee_dash_rob: But, what do I know, I’m just going by your complete lack of content
(03:28:47) peaceseeker1383: how have u come to it?
(03:29:16) dee_dash_rob: Seriously, are you a computer program
(03:29:27) peaceseeker1383: no
(03:29:32) peaceseeker1383: why?>
(03:29:39) dee_dash_rob: You don’t sound human
(03:31:18) peaceseeker1383: oh come on
(03:31:28) peaceseeker1383: u just called me a dick
(03:31:29) dee_dash_rob: You don’t really.
(03:31:49) dee_dash_rob: Yes, which isn’t quite human.
(03:32:04) peaceseeker1383: =))
(03:32:34) peaceseeker1383: can u voice chat?
(03:32:57) dee_dash_rob: I don’t have a microhone right now. And, I don’t actually see any reason why.
(03:33:08) peaceseeker1383: as u like
(03:33:20) peaceseeker1383: now u r defensive
(03:33:30) dee_dash_rob: It’s the “as u like” bullshit that sounds subhuman
(03:33:58) peaceseeker1383: so what should i say?
(03:34:01) dee_dash_rob: I know your response might be that it is polite
(03:34:20) peaceseeker1383: is it bad to be polite?
(03:34:24) dee_dash_rob: but, you haven’t said anything of content, but you appear to have an attitude
(03:34:37) dee_dash_rob: It’s not actually polite.
(03:34:43) dee_dash_rob: It appears pollite
(03:34:59) peaceseeker1383: maybe
(03:35:33) dee_dash_rob: I think you like to infuriate people and then feel good about yourself, at your cleverness
(03:35:38) peaceseeker1383: u define it based on ur knowledge and experience
(03:35:57) dee_dash_rob: Well, no shit. Such is the human condition.
(03:36:16) dee_dash_rob: What would I base it on instead, someone else’s life and knowledge?
(03:36:44) peaceseeker1383: so u mean everything is conditional?
(03:37:15) dee_dash_rob: No. Just perception. I can’t see through someone else’s eyes. At best, I can empathize
(03:37:53) dee_dash_rob: What I see is someone playing with words and offering abso-fucking-lutely nothing. From my experience, I have unfortunately met the sad type
(03:38:37) dee_dash_rob: Seriously, what gets you off. Making teenagers yell at you in chat rooms?
(03:39:50) peaceseeker1383: what i absotively can fathom out is ur trying to be meaningful at the same time telling me something for understanding u
(03:40:00) dee_dash_rob: What?
(03:41:07) peaceseeker1383: why not talk about other things?
(03:41:12) peaceseeker1383: like
(03:41:22) peaceseeker1383: ur favorite food
(03:41:25) peaceseeker1383: sport
(03:41:30) peaceseeker1383: movie
(03:41:35) dee_dash_rob: Sure.
(03:42:05) peaceseeker1383: what about ur sister?
(03:42:12) peaceseeker1383: sorry
(03:42:13) dee_dash_rob: That would be fine. But, to that question “how are you?” you replied “horribly fine” and provided nothing to suggest conversation
(03:42:25) dee_dash_rob: What sister?
(03:42:29) peaceseeker1383: 😉
(03:42:42) peaceseeker1383: i wanted to send it to my friend
(03:42:49) dee_dash_rob: My sister?
(03:42:55) peaceseeker1383: but i sent it to u
(03:42:59) peaceseeker1383: sorry
(03:43:11) dee_dash_rob: Send what?
(03:43:23) peaceseeker1383: oh take it easy
(03:43:37) peaceseeker1383: whats ur favorite color?
(03:43:42) dee_dash_rob: I’m easy, my level of giving a shit is pretty low
(03:43:59) peaceseeker1383: =))
(03:44:04) dee_dash_rob: what was the sister thing about and what were you talking about sending
(03:44:05) peaceseeker1383: ur great
(03:44:08) peaceseeker1383: il
(03:44:14) peaceseeker1383: i like
(03:44:18) peaceseeker1383: chatting with u
(03:44:23) dee_dash_rob: Really?
(03:44:31) peaceseeker1383: yes
(03:44:37) peaceseeker1383: believe me
(03:44:41) dee_dash_rob: Weird.
(03:45:04) peaceseeker1383: and if u dont consider it impolite i like u
(03:45:10) dee_dash_rob: I’m one step away from thinking a ballpeen hammer repeatedly to the temple would be preferable to this conversation
(03:45:10) peaceseeker1383: ur very kind
(03:46:47) peaceseeker1383: u chat well
(03:47:33) dee_dash_rob: Compared to what?
(03:47:47) peaceseeker1383: to me
(03:47:54) peaceseeker1383: u chat better than me]
(03:48:01) peaceseeker1383: know more than me
(03:48:04) peaceseeker1383: its great
(03:48:27) peaceseeker1383: chatting with someone who knows what to say and what not to say
(03:48:28) dee_dash_rob: Seriously, you’re a robot and this is some kind of fawning section of the script right?
(03:48:44) peaceseeker1383: why do u persist on it?
(03:49:19) dee_dash_rob: Because, I’m calling you a dick and busting your chops, because in my humble opinion you deserve it.
(03:49:39) dee_dash_rob: Yet, some chip in your brain somehow still thinks you are in control and are playing me
(03:49:47) peaceseeker1383: ican not change ur idea about me
(03:49:56) dee_dash_rob: Not really
(03:50:15) peaceseeker1383: so why should i try to do so?
(03:50:26) dee_dash_rob: Because it’s the smugness. Like why shouldn’t I chat (or in reality write) better than you?
(03:50:34) dee_dash_rob: You shouldn’t.
(03:50:39) peaceseeker1383: we r chatting even if u insult me in anyn way thats ok with me
(03:51:01) dee_dash_rob: The world will spin in it’s access and the sun will rise and set and you will find a dumb teenager to bait tomorrow
(03:51:21) peaceseeker1383: :-/
(03:52:21) dee_dash_rob: That’s in response to any reason why you would bother to try to convince me you are neither a robot or a total dick
(03:52:37) dee_dash_rob: Point being, it absolutely doesn’t matter
(03:53:13) peaceseeker1383: im not trying to convince u
(03:53:29) peaceseeker1383: u r u
(03:53:35) peaceseeker1383: i am i
(03:53:40) dee_dash_rob: No. But you wrote “why should I try to do so?”
(03:54:04) dee_dash_rob: Now you’re fucking Popeye, swell. I ams what I am.
(03:54:27) peaceseeker1383: why should i try to convince u who thinks knows more than me doesnt want to listen to me truly
(03:55:23) peaceseeker1383: i think we can never see eye to eye
(03:55:38) dee_dash_rob: True enough.
(03:55:59) peaceseeker1383: lets talk about other things
(03:56:00) dee_dash_rob: I can’t follow the syntax of the sentence about never seeing eye to ey
(03:56:10) dee_dash_rob: Walruses and kings?
(03:56:47) peaceseeker1383: i mean we can never arrive at an agreeing point
(03:56:59) peaceseeker1383: we dont agree with reach other
(03:57:07) peaceseeker1383: each other
(03:57:24) peaceseeker1383: lets find some agreement
(03:57:48) dee_dash_rob: Maybe so. But you editorialized with “who thinks they know” (cleaning up the sentence).
(03:58:13) dee_dash_rob: Here’s the agreement. You likely find me as full of shit as I have found you.
(03:58:45) peaceseeker1383: 🙁
(03:59:19) peaceseeker1383: can i add u?
(03:59:33) dee_dash_rob: No
(03:59:46) peaceseeker1383: thats very nice of u
(03:59:55) dee_dash_rob: Not nice. But honest
(04:00:13) peaceseeker1383: its nice to be honest

And then I decided peeing was far, far, far, far, far more satisfactory than continuing.

I swear to fucking Christ, computers are ruining us all. The end times are here.