First off, I just edited the post below. Fucking hell, I was about to fall asleep so the punctuation and shit was, well, shit.

Best part of reading something like that for me, is I pick up on all the weird aural idiosyncratacies I have in writing. I get made fun of at work for this (and many, many, many other things), but I have a habit of writing not so much phonetically, but definitely related to how I would say something verbally. For example, I once sent out a mass email within our office suite asking people to ensure that all file cabinets were emptied prior to an office renovation/move. What I wrote is “file draws,” even though I can spell and read the word drawer. The best part of that example is only in Boston are “drawer” and “draw” similar. Since I’m the only native speaker of the Boston lingo, I think everyone in the office shit on me for that one. Yeah, yeah, pahk my cah, Nomah rules, I don’t say the letter ‘r’ hijinks and hilarity. By the way, I may nevah forgive Saturday Night Live and Rachel Dratch for naming her slutty Boston character “Denise.” Any credibility I have in the workplace shattered into teeny weeny pieces of my broken ego, whenever our Grand Poobah sees an episode of SNL and then comes into work trying to get me to quote her. Bitch.

Anyway, the point is, I think I have a lesion on my brain that makes me substitute words that sound the same to me. Mostly I write “know” when I mean “NO,” which causes Zen-like statements in work emails.

“Know, you may not purchase alcohol on NIH grants.”