Spank me into enlightenment

Sometimes, you gotta love California, just for the Cali-wonderfulness of the place. Especially Northern Cali. It’s not a coincidence that a whole bunch of your good, nutty cults come from this state and these parts. Who wouldn’t want to drink the KoolAid?

You can’t swing a cat, a cat risen from the spirit of Nephritides or some such bullshit mythology, you can’t swing a feline without hitting some kind of crystal-rubbing, yoga-mat, Feng Shui, incense-smoke-swilling bookstore of hope. Everybody’s looking for something.

We wondered into one of my faves in Mountain View last night. A town pretty much famous now for a being the home of the Googleplex. It’s all kinds of mishmash of Buddhist-y, Hindu-y, Ram Dass-y, New-Age-y, goddess-y, occulty,Taoist-y, Chinese-y, East meets west fun. There ain’t nothing spiritual or pseudo-spiritual that store won’t hawk.

What I didn’t realize is there is a whole back room to the place. There are toilets and “therapy rooms” for some kind of “counseling” and a big old room with folding shares and some kind of stage.

Last night, sitting on the stage was a rather grumpy looking, middle-aged British (I think) man. He was giving a little talk on his own plan for enlightenment.

From what we could gather listening into the guru, crankiness is the key.

More later…

4 thoughts on “Spank me into enlightenment

  1. dvae see its spelt wrong

    twasnt me i promise

    however my tilt on life is
    1) its a fatal sexualy transmitted desease
    2) its always better with beer
    3) you can look but be carefull what you touch
    4) never put your finger where you wouldnt put your dick (engineers rule 1 )
    5) try not to piss off the other folks too bsdly
    6) dont get mad get even
    7) relax dude
    8) take only pictures leave only memorys
    9) when you are up to your nuts in gators dont preach about draing swamps
    10)up for thinking down for shagging

    i should make it a religion realy its too good to keep to myself

    wasnt that how scattology was made did tommt cruise no end of good short arsed lil dwarf he is

    snogs from me n the frog

    Reply
  2. Dee-Rob

    DVAE!!! My man, you’re back. Where you been? Maybe fucking up some kind of wiring somewhere or deciding if something was a glory hole or an outlet?

    Missed you, you old — insert British slang term here.

    I’d almost agree on your religious model if it didn’t peter out into incoherence with the Tom Cruise reference.

    I’ll write more about the guy we saw and his hold shtick soon. But, meanwhile I’m working on my own bullshit belief system.

    Reply
  3. dvae see its spelt wrong

    hmmm iwas very drunk at the time i think its supposed to say
    wasnt that how scientology was invented
    it semms to have done tom cruise no end of good
    short arsed dwarf that he is

    i liked the bit about missing me it almost made me feel wanted
    but if you are going to call me a cunt at least be brave enough to use the actual word
    i dont mind im a cunt and i know it

    Wow buddism ,now thats cooooool if i can work it out i will post u a pic of my Budda

    luv n hugs

    moi

    Reply
  4. Dee-Rob

    I don’t know, I don’t think I was thinking “cunt.” I think there has to be a more special word for you, dvae.

    You’d love it here, by the way. There’re often local Scientology centers with tables set up for personality tests. Love to see them figure out how L. Ron Hubbard could help you.

    Reply

Talk with me. Please.

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