Maybe it’s because it’s my second Friday and I haven’t gotten in
trouble at all. In fact, I’ve pretty much done everything I was
supposed to this week.

Regardless, I had the courage today to rummage through the earthquake
kit in my desk’s bottom drawer. The flashlight works and the bright
red ripstop nylon case contains the following:

1 – Food bar 2400 Calories
12 – Water Pouches
1 – Emergency Blanket
1 – Whistle
3 – Lightsticks (12 hour)
1 – Pocket First Aid Kit
1 – Hygiene Kit*
1 – Storage Case

* The hygiene kit contains: Package of Tissue, Soap, Comb, Razor,
Toothbrush, Toothpaste, Sanitary Napkins and Moist Towelettes.

As for emergency preparedness, rock on with the water pouches and the
very heavy, Soylent-Green seeming block of "Food Bar 2400 Calories"
(one square to be eaten every six hours to be broken off in small
pieces).

But, what the fuck with the razor and possibly even the comb. If the
earth seizes and I’m surviving under my office desk, huddling in my
emergency blanket and no-doubt shitting my pants, combing my hair is
not likely. Shaving is completely out of the question. And, I
promise I won’t be checking any guy for five o’clock shadow by the dim
light of an emergency glo-stick.