I wrote a whole thing about the Pope, his new “commandments,” marketing and all sorts of ranting goodness. Then the webserver hiccupped and my words were fucked and vaporized.

It must be the lord working in mysterious ways to prevent my blaspheming. Not to mention, jesus probably wants me in bed by now.

For fun, here’s the papal precedent for road rules from the “Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road” with the top ten list.

. Back in 1956 Pope Pius XII exhorted motorists: “Do not forget to respect other road users, be courteous and fair with other drivers and pedestrians and show them your obliging nature. Pride yourselves in being able to master an often natural impatience, in sometimes sacrificing a little of your sense of honour so that the courteousness that is a sign of true charity may prevail. Not only will you thus be able to avoid unpleasant accidents, but you will also help to make the car a more useful tool for yourselves and others that is capable of giving you a more genuine pleasure”[17].

Didn’t know popes were into cars.

Here’s the list for easy reference:

Drivers’ “Ten Commandments”

In any case, with the request for motorists to exercise virtue, we have drawn up a special “decalogue” for them, in analogy with the Lord’s Ten Commandments. These are stated here below, as indications, considering that they may also be formulated differently.

I. You shall not kill.

II. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

III. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

IV. Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents.

V. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

VI. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

VII. Support the families of accident victims.

VIII. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

IX. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

X. Feel responsible towards others.

I think the pope could paraphrase, “Jesus doesn’t want you to be a huge dick.”

Oh, and I also wrote some shit about advertising on catholic.org and how I think I hate Steve Carell and probably won’t see in a million fucking years, expect on a flu-ridden couch moment, alone with cable, Evan Almighty.