Back in the office, after a morning of back to back meetings. Same issues, same people equals a new formula for inertia. Actually, it’s the same old formula for inertia, the one where a body at rest stays at rest. In this case, no matter how many meetings you have to discuss doing something, it ain’t the same as actually doing something. Is there anywhere in the known universe where meetings are actually productive and there are direct results attributable to them? Doubt it.

By the way, I wish there were a gameshow scoreboard in every conference room. Then, whenever the same people who invariably comment or ask questions that pertain only to their tiny specific world with no translation to the larger world involving a group (you know, the people with whom you are having the meeting), you could press the scoreboard controls and create that annoying buzzer noise that universally means “wrong answer there, sport.” If I wanted to wake up early and jump into a conversation sans coffee about the one piece of paper that is important to you, I’d call you. Else, how’s about we keep it general. (The scoreboard idea is my compromise from writing that those folks could be stabbed with meeting quality, jailhouse shivs. Ever since that blogger got fired from Harvard for various unprofessional wackiness, I figure no reason to cause unnecessary suspicion over the quality and quantity of my psychotic nutbaggedness.)

And, for the chick who thinks she’s in charge, the word is “USE.” “UTILIZE” is the most over-utilized (yeah, that’s a joke) word in meetings. I don’t utilize reports I use them, the same way that I don’t utilize a spoon to eat my cereal.

I really should be trying to purge myself of a morning of meetings by actually doing something besides writing here. But, one more point of order — A big shout-out, or whatever the young people say, to a fellow D-Rob. I always knew at heart that I was an adolescent boy (thus explaining the over-active and immature libidinous thought patterns), but now I have the synchronous nickname to prove it.