Who knew there was a fucking infomercial about shit. Literally.

Dual Action Cleanse. A high tech, “natural” laxative with all sorts of fake information about how much poop can hurt you. Did you know you probably have toxins in your poop that are best depicted dramatically by a crop duster?

Better yet, if you are fat, it may in fact be poo.

Like all good infomercials, there are endorsements. Some Asian chick actually can feel herself transform to lighter and cleaner after a good grunt. An African American woman talks about how you overhear people all the time saying something to the affect of “You know, I ate a big meal yesterday, and I still haven’t…” Where-o-where, lady, do you overhear such chatter?

It was a very rainbow of diversity commercial. I think that’s because, well, Everyone Poops.
Apparently, the goal is to shit like a child, because they do it up right and large.

From now on, I shall strive to be more vigilant about monitoring whether my own releases are “short” or “thin.” Thin I actually get, but I’ll have to really ponder the short.

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