Maybe it's good, great or sucks what the kids might say, sucks donkey balls, but often M. and I are in sync. Like, he has a shitty long tiring unproductive day (in his case job interviews), and so do I. Mine was more about a meeting that lasted forever and gave me a sense of my own mortality. You know, like cool, if I died right now, I wouldn't have to stay in this meeting.<\/p>\n
A propos nothing whatsofuckingever, I fucking hate bad writing. Not bad like this banal, meaningless, steaming pile that your eyeballs are reading right now. I mean the special good tasty kind of bad writing that only the "educated" can pull out of their asses. Note to the world, I don't believe the passive voice is bad, because some wrinkled spinster (such as I am) underlined it in a little book and told me it was a rule. <\/p>\n
Nope, I hate it because it's boring as all fucking hell, and like, um, there are usually indirect and harder to comprehend stentences in the realm of passive. Break it down, people. If I say "suck my cock," you know I want you to suck my cock. (Context clues might even tell you if I want you to suck my cock, because I'm angry, or because I want you to make sweet, sweet monkey love to me.)<\/p>\n
However, if you say instead, "a cock will be sucked," it's not effective prose. Your audience will not know if they are to suck or be sucked. Chaos, confusion and a cum-free existence (not in a good way). Subject verb predicate, and ask yourself who is acting in the dick suck universe.<\/p>\n
I think I need to write a grammar book with only dirty, prosaic sentences. Nothing makes a point as directly as, I dunno, porn. You ever watch a porno and question the meaning?<\/p>\n
Check it — I hate like poison folks who get all fucking la-di-da, look at me, I be writing with their prose. You don't mean "utilize." It's "use," like I'm going to use my boot toe to fuck you up. <\/p>\n
Same thing goes with "as well as," when what you really should be saying is AND. Fucking "and," that's it. Simple, reasonable and just ripe with connecting goodness. I want you to caress my breasts AND call me Mother Mary AND touch me in the bad place. NOT, and I repeat NOT, as well as touch me in the bad place. You dig?<\/p>\n
I will lick your balls, as well as polish your helmet. That's where it works, when you already know what's up (helmut polishing), and you get the extra bonus thang (licked balls). <\/p>\n
Strunk, White and Ron Jeremy. That threesome would be well-utilized in my thoughts, as well as a Kleenex.<\/p>\n