{"id":1405,"date":"2006-11-18T13:40:19","date_gmt":"2006-11-18T20:40:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wordpress\/index.php\/2006\/11\/bank-of-america-can-suck-me\/"},"modified":"2006-11-18T13:40:19","modified_gmt":"2006-11-18T20:40:19","slug":"bank-of-america-can-suck-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/bank-of-america-can-suck-me\/","title":{"rendered":"Bank of America can suck me"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I have about $80 large in BofA&#8217;s coffers, which will soon be making an appearance in any other bank in the fucking world or possibly my mattress.<\/p>\n<p>Few months back, flush with the proceeds from my house sale, my bank accounts were magically converted into &#8220;VIP&#8221; accounts.  By VIP, I&#8217;m pretty sure they mean &#8220;we hate you, you venal fuck, and now we own you, oh yeah and go fuck yourself.&#8221;  That&#8217;s how VIP I feel.<\/p>\n<p>Turns out the fallout of VIP-ness is no overdraft protection.  Fuck me.<\/p>\n<p>I wrote the rent check, bought groceries, pumped some gas all the while thinking I had a couple bucks enough in the bank to cover.  Not to Bank of America&#8217;s fucked up calculus.  My check bounced and each little extra transaction gained me a total of about $100 in insufficient funds fees.  None of the three other accounts they opened for me to &#8220;maximize&#8221; my money can cover my checking account.<\/p>\n<p>I couldn&#8217;t quite follow the argument on the other end of the customer service line, but my balance at the time right before I got special VIP bank accounts seemed to suggest to her that I would have bounced these checks anyway.  To be all polite she&#8217;d reverse SOME of the fees, but some of them I still got, because my balance in July in the savings account that disappeared (the one with overdraft) was only $200 and wouldn&#8217;t have covered these checks.<\/p>\n<p>Um what?<\/p>\n<p>Slowly I&#8217;ve been moving my dough elsewhere.  Soon that will be mightily speeded up. Maybe I should grab something sawed off and get it all right now.<\/p>\n<div id=\"wp_fb_like_button\" style=\"margin:5px 0;float:none;height:100px;\"><script src=\"http:\/\/connect.facebook.net\/en_US\/all.js#xfbml=1\"><\/script><fb:like href=\"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/bank-of-america-can-suck-me\/\" send=\"true\" layout=\"standard\" width=\"450\" show_faces=\"true\" font=\"arial\" action=\"like\" colorscheme=\"light\"><\/fb:like><\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I have about $80 large in BofA&#8217;s coffers, which will soon be making an appearance in any other bank in the fucking world or possibly my mattress. Few months back, flush with the proceeds from my house sale, my bank accounts were magically converted into &#8220;VIP&#8221; accounts. By VIP, I&#8217;m pretty sure they mean &#8220;we [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-stuff"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8wYr-mF","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1405"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1405\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/dee-rob.com\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}