I know it is pretty godawfully trite to discuss SPAM, but who ever said I wasn’t godawfully trite myself.

Last night I was sent SPAM with the subject line “You and I know you’re fat…” from Robyn W. Dodge” robyn_wdodgect @sohoo.com.cn.

Is that an effective direct marketing approach?

Am I meant to be so fucking insecure that a total stranger, a cyber-bot of some sort is going to point out the obvious truth that I have been avoiding, and, in the midst of my sobs of recognition, I will succumb and try their fat burning patch?

Not to mention, this little picture doesn’t actually inspire me.

What? You mean I wear your patch and then I have to shop for all my clothes at Walmart?

I’ll keep my voluptuous chubbiness and fabulous sense of style for now.