Monthly Archives: June 2010

There's a reason they all died there, I think

I think there’s a reason so many celebrities are found toes up in hotel rooms. Janis, John Belushi, David Carradine. Is there any space on earth as weirdly distant and alien than a hotel room somewhere in the universe.

I’m currently sitting in a bed about 75 miles due south on the scenic coastal highway from my own bed. The occasion is signing up for a workshop for work. Apart from meeting fatigue, waking up extra early to drive that 75 miles and it being the end of the day, I’m just feeling bone tired from being all by my lonesome in that wall-crawling, restless, fidget way hotels bring on in me.

I want to be home. I’m not sure I’m designed to actually learn and think in a conference room. Maybe that sentence should be full stop I’m not designed to learn.

It was actually an interesting day, where I got to see how organizations can walk through getting to a message and a plan for getting it out there into the ether. Communicating and all in important circles. There was even an ex-governor in the room.

Sadly, I’m more voyeur than real playa this time around, and it’s going to be a tough slog in my row-hoeing workday world to use what I learned.

I got back to my room and paced. I took a shower out of boredom. I deep conditioned my hair, because I had an abundance of conditioner and time. I inventoried my miniature toiletries.u

On a regular Wednesday night, I’d check email, scan some news and various websites and maybe write right here. Telly on in the background.

It’s the same here. But it’s not the same.

Here, on the same coast I can hear from my house, faraway from M. whose snoring I can’t hear right now, I’m thinking of hotel rooms and dead famous people. Fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your point of view, I’m just as far away from an errant speedball, deadly bump of coke or bag of heroin.

(Of course, such a level of drug use is beyond me, just as elusive as the celebrity I don’t enjoy.)

I'm beginning to wonder if I'm an optimist

In my life of toiling for a paycheck, things have been heating up organizationally speaking. There’s been some talk of some departments combining, and, therefore, implied slight changes to the status quo. Mostly the status quo is going to hold, as it generally does.

But, I’ve been in the thick of conversations about making plans, and making meetings about making plans, and having conversations about making plans. Mostly, it’s been conversations. I realized something in all of that talking for the sake of talking. I may not be the cynical, pessimistic asshole I think I always thought I was. Nope, my glass is actually half full.

What a horrible realization, self-awareness-wise. I’m actually a beam of sunshine in a cloudy world. OK, maybe not, but there are a lot of folks who are definitely more of a downer than I try to be. Either that or the great mass of folks just enjoy bitching and moaning. Actually, I think that part is definitely true.

This week, I sat in a meeting full of brainstorming-goodness-looking-to-the-future-change-management happy, happy office stuff. At one point in a small group someone who won’t be here in the future (notice given, replacement starting) who wasn’t in the job during a particular time of some change, opined at length about how this person didn’t think we should go through that all again. Come again, you weren’t here, you won’t be here and you’re worried about something that no one said would happen and never actually happened the way you believe? Got it.

It all felt like a great big communal squandering of opportunity.

Enough about them, this post is all about me.

Now, I’ve been fucked over by jobs in the past, and I will be fucked over in the future, I expect. I’ve been battered, bruised, hurt and variously promoted, demoted and fired. Through it all, though, mostly I’ve been employed in some capacity and have had reason to hope that some kind of green would still make it into my bank account. Knock wood and all, given the shit economy, but I haven’t been on food stamps yet.

Neither have any of my co-workers. Actually, I don’t even think any of my co-workers have been fired or faced with layoffs. Pretty much to a person, I think employment has been a bit more velvety smooth than the national average. Leastwise, I haven’t heard too many good stories to suggest otherwise.

What I realized is these folks with a level of comfort and privilege are waiting for the hammer more than I am. Maybe because I’ve been kept down by “the man” at least enough to not exactly have a boot heel on my throat but a thumb under which I’ve been kept, I have perspective. I have a experience predicting where the pain will be, so I don’t waste time imagining where it probably won’t be.

For example, I’m optimistic that they won’t go searching for a giant turd of new leadership. Why? Because I’ve seen giant turds, and the conditions that lead to their hire. I’m not seeing those signs, right now. It all got me impatient with other people bringing the room down with those particular misgivings. I don’t understand pessimism without evidence, I guess.

Of course, in a few months time, who knows. Maybe I’ll be writing up a song of how I guessed so badly and wishing Nancy Pelosi had signed the country up for more weeks of unemployment pay.

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Living smoothly

The other day, I imagined myself writing in this space to vent about the resumes I have to read at work and advise on what not to do. I didn’t get around to it.

In truth, my resume, job applying advice is very brief — show empathy.

If your prospective employer asks for your name in the subject line of your email, include your goddamn name. When your naming your attached documents, it’s no longer relevant if the names make sense on YOUR computer, they need to make sense on someone else’s. Somewhere in the kit and kaboodle, provide some kind of clue as to why your applying. I ain’t got the time to mine for your gold.

That’s about it. Oh, and save the crazy for after you get the job. Although, folks where I work are kind of digging your advertisement of the goodness of your homemade jam, we may not be laughing with you.

In my personal case, the job has a glamorously worldwide sounding name. It’s not, it’s paperwork locally for the most part. But, good god y’all everyone who has imagined travel or lived abroad thinks that’s enough to establish global bona fides. Do some research about the job, people.

All of the above is preamble to what I want to write about now, social network anger. I got a dose and realized that a whole lot of people are talking but not listening.

Admittedly, in a less than charitable mood, I Twittered and Facebooked about a job applicant that stated his desire to work among folks of “various socioeconomic backgrounds.” I was amused not just by the thought of someone hoping to rub shoulders in the workplace with the strata of American society, but the fact of the matter that where I work is pretty much no melting pot.

In response, I got an earful from a socially networked “friend,” actual close relative, about his own experience with the paperwork of job applications. Truly, I didn’t get it. It was a conversational hijack with a sweeping generalization that wasn’t matching my own experience or current reality.

It was clearly social networking equaling two simultaneous monologs masquerading as dialog. Somewhere I was told we should agree to disagree, but for that to happen we would have had to have been speaking about the same thing.

Of course, the comedian in me was miffed that my punchline was hijacked by a non sequitur.

I’ve noticed that kind of “conversation” happens a lot online.

M.’s coworker ended up blocking people in her Facebook circle, rather than continue to participate in the non-dialog. In her case, she sometimes throws out affirmations and whatnot from her personal New Age-y perspective. Quite possibly not one’s cup of tea, but harmless enough and her belief system.

She got tired of “friends” criticizing her posts or proselytizing their own beliefs.

I totally can’t relate to her naysayers. In my own feeds, I have plenty of folks who don’t believe what I believe. In particular, thanks to comedy, there’s a good amount of 12 steppers. No way can I imagine shitting on someone else’s call to a higher power.

Pretty much, I keep my snarky counterpoint to those contacts encouraging provocation or political dialog. Otherwise, I guess I live the cliche, if you ain’t go something nice to say, shut the fuck up. (Or the comedic corollary, I at least try for something funny.)

Speaking of comedy, I follow a few Twitter feeds of comedians of various levels of fame or success. Some of them go for one-liners, quick, witty observations and other humorous notes. Others keep it much less purposely funny or a bit more personal.

What amazes me is how repetitive the slamming is. For quite a few of them, it would seem especially the ones who share a bit of the personal, there’s a steady-ish stream of “fans” deciding how unfunny they are.

If you’re fan enough to find some comic and start following what they write, why the insults? I really, really, really don’t understand liking someone enough to seek them out, but being contemptuous enough to shit on them.

Life is short and all that.

It used to be that Internet arguments among Usenet readers with a shared interest in common would devolve into anonymous shouting matches and ad hominem attacks. I think I understand the underlying passion and anonymous safety of a good, old-fashioned flamewar.

I almost understand the trickery and prank sensibility that is trolling.

Angry posting among “friends” is another animal. One I don’t comprehend. In social networking either you know people or feel some kind of connection. How did that devolve into contrarianism?

It’s like all of the shifty dark part of the net is taking over the good junk. Makes me kind of nostalgic for a good Usenet argument and Godwin’s Law.

In the end, I just can’t sustain the anger. Maybe it’s as M. claims, we’re doing alright and life is fine and others can’t see it.

Yesterday was sunshine in Napa with four friends. We tried reserves, and Pinots and cabs. We sampled Francis Ford Coppola’s Rubicon, which at $145 a bottle was damn smooth and tasty. The afternoon was lunch and more wine,

M. and I ended the day by wandering SF at night. Finally, in lieu of dinner we shared a banana split at the chocolatier’s that lends it’s name to Ghiardelli Square and headed home.

Maybe he’s onto something with this happiness thing.