In my life of toiling for a paycheck, things have been heating up organizationally speaking. There’s been some talk of some departments combining, and, therefore, implied slight changes to the status quo. Mostly the status quo is going to hold, as it generally does.
But, I’ve been in the thick of conversations about making plans, and making meetings about making plans, and having conversations about making plans. Mostly, it’s been conversations. I realized something in all of that talking for the sake of talking. I may not be the cynical, pessimistic asshole I think I always thought I was. Nope, my glass is actually half full.
What a horrible realization, self-awareness-wise. I’m actually a beam of sunshine in a cloudy world. OK, maybe not, but there are a lot of folks who are definitely more of a downer than I try to be. Either that or the great mass of folks just enjoy bitching and moaning. Actually, I think that part is definitely true.
This week, I sat in a meeting full of brainstorming-goodness-looking-to-the-future-change-management happy, happy office stuff. At one point in a small group someone who won’t be here in the future (notice given, replacement starting) who wasn’t in the job during a particular time of some change, opined at length about how this person didn’t think we should go through that all again. Come again, you weren’t here, you won’t be here and you’re worried about something that no one said would happen and never actually happened the way you believe? Got it.
It all felt like a great big communal squandering of opportunity.
Enough about them, this post is all about me.
Now, I’ve been fucked over by jobs in the past, and I will be fucked over in the future, I expect. I’ve been battered, bruised, hurt and variously promoted, demoted and fired. Through it all, though, mostly I’ve been employed in some capacity and have had reason to hope that some kind of green would still make it into my bank account. Knock wood and all, given the shit economy, but I haven’t been on food stamps yet.
Neither have any of my co-workers. Actually, I don’t even think any of my co-workers have been fired or faced with layoffs. Pretty much to a person, I think employment has been a bit more velvety smooth than the national average. Leastwise, I haven’t heard too many good stories to suggest otherwise.
What I realized is these folks with a level of comfort and privilege are waiting for the hammer more than I am. Maybe because I’ve been kept down by “the man” at least enough to not exactly have a boot heel on my throat but a thumb under which I’ve been kept, I have perspective. I have a experience predicting where the pain will be, so I don’t waste time imagining where it probably won’t be.
For example, I’m optimistic that they won’t go searching for a giant turd of new leadership. Why? Because I’ve seen giant turds, and the conditions that lead to their hire. I’m not seeing those signs, right now. It all got me impatient with other people bringing the room down with those particular misgivings. I don’t understand pessimism without evidence, I guess.
Of course, in a few months time, who knows. Maybe I’ll be writing up a song of how I guessed so badly and wishing Nancy Pelosi had signed the country up for more weeks of unemployment pay.