I am dirty and tawdry and foolish and flawed. Or maybe that’s just the toxins from excess tequila talking. Las night I broke a few of mypersonal commandments.

I figuratively let my hair down with a couple of co-workers, breaking commandment 1. Since coming here my plan on co-worker camraderie was to remain shallow, aloof, cordial and pleasant, but no more, not a bit more. The more people knew me at the last job, my human foibles and warts and whatnot were completely used against me. Teflon has to stay on the surface.

Worse, there was commandment #2, the one in which I acknowledge the evils of the devil rum and keep my drinking to almost non-existent levels. For a variety of reasons, such as my enzyme-deficient partner who can’t drink, the hellishly longer recovery time after drinking (and my desire to not waste any remaining days on the planet rolling on the couch moaning in pain, if I can avoid it) and weight issues, I just don’t drink like I once did.

Additionally. a long, long, long, long, long, long, dark, despairing night of time ago, I realized too late to damp the effects of a shot of booze that I was constitutionally better off with the “softer” spirits, like beer and wine. The volume ratio of a 12-ounce beer to a 1-ounce shot was just the kind of buffer that kept me from shitting myself in the gutter. Worst in the self-shitting, gutter-sit scenario was tequila, cactus fermented poison.

Seriously, some of the stupidest, horrible, bad ideas of “fun” were for me tequila laced.

So, last night I learned while on the West Coast never, ever, ever start drinking margaritas with a woman who hangs out at the restaurant and knows the owner. The kindness and generosity of the owner with margarita deliver almost killed me.

But, I also learned that I am living with a prince. He came and got me, after I slurred a cry for help into my cell phone. I never had rescue fantasies, but that gesture has me re-thinking.

Not only that, but as I was swilling booze and undoubtedly making an ass of myself (my levee of my light-weightedness was more than breached), he had a nice dinner/movie night with the guys an managed to have some time to tidy up the place.

Unfortunately for him, he’s living with some awful Cat/Stella/Blanche crazed shrew, boozehounding and pathetic.