Man, oh, fucking man. Right now is the first time in weeks, I think, where I’m almost relaxed and unvexed by a pile of shit to do.

Actually, I should be mildly vexed at the pile of bills I have to pay, which I should be doing instead of updating this crap. But, I pay on the Internet thang, and right now, I’m procrastinating. (I love that word. In my head, I say it with the same kind of emphasis as the old joke about a guy wearing a tux to his vasectomy operation. “If I’m gonna be impotent, I want to look impotent!”)

Fully related to procrastination, January is almost upon us. January is the month where my gravy train pretty much pulls into the station and says “Get the fuck off deadbeat, and find yourself a job.” It was fun while it lasted, and at least with most of the home improvements done, moving seems more possible.

Last year, I spent New Year’s in the Bay Area on a last minute whim, buying a ticket days before the holiday. If you are superstitious and believe what you are doing New Year’s Eve/Day is indicative about how the year will go, I should have moved in 2004. Although, maybe last year was just the toe test for the relationship, which seems to thrive. (I’m such a dick, that I write “…seems to thrive.” How goddamn hopeful and romantic is that?)

Speaking of both superstition and thriving, I historically have killed all living things in my apartment. By that I mean houseplants, despite the fantasy being a particular ex-boyfriend. However, when I met M., he helped me spiff up the front room into a nice bedroom, and I bought a spider plant and bamboo as finishing touches. Both plants still live over a year and a half later.

I’m a fucking nurturer. I hope if I come home from my trip I don’t find them dead and then read into their mortality symbolism and despair about the whole relationship thing. Even for me, it might be a tad shallow to be weeping inconsolably over dead plants.

Not to make an overly light juxtaposition, but in the world of real tragedy, I’m trying to figure out what/how/who to donate to for the tsunami relief efforts. Happily, M. called home on Christmas and everyone in his family is fine with some flooding around their neighborhood in Panang but nothing big.