I’m feeling all up in the “fuck you” action.
I finally got and activated the ATM card for my new bank account. So I wrote a mighty big check to myself from my assholic Bank of America soon to be bank account that was. Over the past few months, I’ve been taking cash out and spreading it around. But, now, with a new checking account and all of the checking accoutrement, I’m done.
Adios and suck my ass, Bank of America. Take your fees, take your mind-blowingly bad customer service and your good old mega-conglomerate ways and fuck off.
And, Nicky, boy. Oh Nicky. I’m going to ask for volunteers in your final fuck off. Now it’s just a little bit of build up to the main event.
In today’s episode, for some unfathomable reason he called M.’s old boss and chatted him up. The unfathomable part isn’t that he called the old place of work, because disorganized old men getting a number wrong, ain’t exactly news.
No, the part that’s on the uncomprehensible side is why he talked with the guy. He stopped and chatted enough to lie to him about needing to get in touch with M., because we hadn’t given him proper notice to vacate the premises. Um, what the fuck, Nick?
How fucking inappropriate is telling a stranger that there’s some kind of financial issue. Let alone making up shit and selling it to create a non-existent issue.
M. called him and called him on it. Um, right, you got the letter didn’t you, bad boy?
He offered M. a good deal, if we move out right away, and he gets a new tenant right away, he’ll pro-rate for us and we only have to pay until the new tenants start. Hey, old man, that’s the fucking law, not let’s make a deal.
You know what else, old man, we’re staying until the date we said, because time is money to us. Guess what, the law is totally hip to our thinking.
What I think though, apart from wanting to make book that the placid M. freaks out on Nick before it’s all said and done, is that I need to hold the first ever, invitational, let’s all screw with Nick’s head open.
If you got any good ideas on how we can mess with an old man as we wave goodbye, give me your best shot in the comments section.
(Anything all psycho and fecal, though, man, I don’t want to know about that sick shit (no pun).)
a kipper (smoked fish slice) in the wall cavity will endear you to the next tenant in a very special way and its almost impossible to remove or under a floor board leave a gap mind so the smell can get out
slacken off the water pipe connection to one of the taps under the bath is always a goody
especialy if u live in a upstairs apartment
other goodies include posting his home and mobile number on a zillion websites offering his car \home \arse for sale at bargain price
you know ( 2006 convitable for sale £2000 or near offer must sell divorce forces sale )
super glue in the outside door locks as you leave is fun cant have been u you just locked it and left
when u have left ring round the local builders merchants in his name and order stuff like 3 tons of sand of concrete in his name
spry paint a paedophile lives here on the front side walk is always a goody just dont get spotted doing it (this tends to look bad on you )
send the tax man a few dollars in cash in his name apologising for ripping him off for the last 20 years
send taxis to his house at 3am to collect him to go to the local whore house
book a whore for him again at 3 am
send round a bunch of flowers with the message come fuck me again big boy to his wife \ girlfriend boy freind
but best of all send him a gift wrapped dog turd with the message someone some where thinks you are one of these
hope this helps
dave
im off to birmingham dont ask its 4 am and its a whim
kisses for the moist bits