Things to do when you are unemployed

Since I have the time and the inclination, I decided to join the masochist ranks of paid extras for Fever Pitch directed by the Farrelly Brothers. Yesterday (at least I think it was yesterday), I reported for duty at 4:40 p.m. in Kenmore Square, and then I spent the next ~14 hours at Fenway Park pretending to be an excited fan watching a game and reacting to stuff in the story.

I haven’t seen dawn in Kenmore Square since I was a kid and had a whole lot of explaining to do to my mother about where I was all night.

Here’s what I have learned so far.

  • It is fucking COLD when it’s 50 degrees at 4 a.m., and you’re sitting in a ballpark without that much to do.
  • There are a whole lot of people with aspirations to fame and glory. Most of them won’t make it.
  • There’s a lot of pain in the ass, unglamorous work to making a movie.
  • If you tell hundreds of people to “pantomime” watching a game, many will do peculiar actions unlike those you may have seen at an actual sporting event.
  • People who have performed or acted previously seem to have much fewer delusions of grandeur (and are funny to talk with mostly about the more optimistic extras).
  • Being in the actors union means better cookies. (Having a friend in SAG gives you access.)
  • Drew Barrymore can run much further and gracefully than I ever could or any other mere mortal, especially at 5 a.m. in the cold.
  • The water in the Fenway Park bathrooms is blistering hot and makes a completely mediocre cup of tea.
  • Hot water bottles should make a comeback! (At least that’s what I delusionally realized while stuffing a Poland Springs bottle full of hot tab water into my jacket to keep warm.)
  • One thought on “Things to do when you are unemployed

    Talk with me. Please.

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