I have been spending a long time trying to get a resume together that doesn’t cause me to weep at the futility of mankind’s meager existence on this small and revolving planet.

Now, I’m going to take bits and pieces of it and cut and paste everywhere that I possibly can in order to rejoin the daily work force.

Although, I am pretty proud that I have done some of the independent projects I have set out to do, including learn a lot about web design and freelance out some of my new skills and making decisions about a writing future. I think if I focus on a very fluid, yin yang balance of my own interests and a job without the required emotional, full-tilt, take no prisoners investment, both my own bad self and a future employer could approach a bunch o’ contentment.

Look for my opus of the week at job boards and employment websites near you.

By the way, if you are reading this post, and you have any friends, family, lovers, enemies, colleagues or what have you in the Northern California vicinity who might be hiring, please let me know. I’m going to use as many networking angles as I can to get a good thing going.

I’m bright (or at least not slow). I have a meticulous, scary even, attention to detail (believe it or not, based on this shite). It turns out that my ability to read poorly and obscurely written government policy and legalese and turn it into normal speech is savant-like.

I write, some might say, “very well,” and thanks to my A-one, brand-certified, wicked excellent journalism degree, I’m actually rather skilled at writing for different situations, audiences and environments. In other words, I don’t always write like I do here, and quite frankly recognize that no one need toss around the fuck word with such wanton abandon.

I’d link up my resume here, but if history taught me anything it’s keeping the comedy/writing site clearly about comedy and writing. This ain’t my working gal self.